Ship’s Store Runs Out of Cigarettes and Monsters 17 Minutes Into Black Friday

The “Buy One Get Another One For the Same Price” deal was too enticing for sailors aboard the Navy’s Only Forward-Deployed Aircraft Carrier, USS Ronald Regan. 17 minutes into Black Friday, the ship’s store was out of both cigarettes and  Monsters.

“Fucking animals,” SUPPO cursed under his breath as CMC yelled at RSC for not having adequate supplies. “The next UNREP is still a week away. How are the sailors supposed to survive without nicotine, sugar, and caffeine?”

At press time, SUPPO was seen slipping one of the SWO-Nukes a carton of cigarettes after receiving two gigabytes of Hentai via Air Drop.