Studies Show “It’s Not Gay if It’s Underway” is Actually Just Gay

A study done by the US Naval War College led by CAPT Dick Toucher (who is a dude) examined the complexities of homosexual tendencies by sailors at sea. The results will shock you.

“For years, we’ve preached to our sailors that ‘it’s not gay if it’s underway’ as guiding principle of interactions between supposedly straight male sailors while at sea,” CAPT Toucher said. Our groundbreaking study, which examined 69 independent gay-ish incidents onboard US Navy Warship. “We determined that it still is, in fact, gay if it’s underway.”

At press time, thousands of sailors were dumbfounded at the realization. If it’s underway, it can still be gay. Not that anything is wrong with that, but just call it what it is.