Random Boner During Safety Brief Won’t Go Away

Oh no, here it comes. You were nodding off during the safety brief about not using the hand sanitizer in the port-a-potties to wash your balls when you first felt it coming. You were hoping it was just a half-chub, like most of your erections since you came back from your second deployment, but no such luck.

Okay, just stay calm. Think of things that turn you off. The fat NCO when he pulls up to the base parking lot on his stupid-fucking Harley. Your leave getting denied. The COs wife. Anything.

It wasn’t working. Don’t worry, it’s going to be fine. Wait, why is the presenter asking for volunteers? It’s fine, just look away. 

“GONZALES! Why don’t you come up and demonstrate to us how to not wash yourself with hand sanitizer.”

Oh my god, all your worst nightmares come alive. You haven’t been this embarrassed since junior high. At least Sarah Dickiner isn’t here to laugh at you.

“Ughhh I’m fine where I am Sarge.”

“Come up here soldier!”

Dammit. No backing out of this now. Okay, try to maneuver in such a way that you tuck your chilly willy into your waste band. Ahh, there you should be fine. It’s safe to walk up now.

You walk up to the front of the class, ready to be the example. Suddenly, your Sergeant leans down and begins to demonstrate proper washing technique.

Oh no! It’s slipping out of your waste band. Make it stop, please. You start praying to God, even though you watched enough Hentai last night you could hear the chaplain crying in his house across base. There it goes, you look down to see freedom-maker extended perpendickular to the deck, and you sigh with relief.

Your dick’s to small for anyone to notice you even have an erection.