Brittany Griner’s Liberty Secured Until She Updates NFAAS

No exceptions. Until she verified her NFAAS is up to date, WNBA All-Star and former political prisoner Brittany Griner is not going home.

“I don’t give a shit if she spent the last year in a communist prison camp, if her address isn’t verified she can’t go home,” LCDR Smoll Pecker, an HR officer, said in an interview. “We need to do our basic admin to be able to fight effectively, and how can we expect to shoot down Chinese sea-skimming missiles if our home address isn’t updated periodically?”

At press time, Brittany Griner was being chewed out by a chief for wearing the wrong color rank tab. I guess she didn’t see the new NAVADMIN on black rank tabs while in prison.