No One Knows What the Civilians at Your Command Do

You haven’t seen Stacey since the start of the government-mandated quarantine in 2020, but she’s finally back in the office after a two years hiatus. You completely forgot she existed, and anyone who joined the command staff after March 2020 has never even laid eyes on her. Not that they were missing much.

She’s harmless enough. Sometimes she brought good-enough banana bread to the office. But everyone started asking the question, what does Stacey actually do?

No one fucking knows. She has project manager on her business cards you’ve never seen her pass out, but your office doesn’t have any projects to manage.

Not that you’re not doing anything either, but difference is that you’re threatened with jail time if you don’t show up for work. That counts for something.

At press time, Stacey was seen leaving the office in gym clothes. No one knows if she’s coming back.