Damn, Your Family Got Fat This Year

Wow, how things can change in a year. I mean your parents were never particular fit and your older brother wasn’t exactly an athlete, but they were never… fat. Now there are eight chins between your three family members and you’re pretty sure even your dog gained weight.

“I mean, it took some dedication, but we pulled it off,” your dad said as he picked you up from the airport. “It’s not easy to spend an extra five minutes every single meal stuffing your face. That’s almost 90 extra hours over the course of the year, more than 20 hours longer than all of Game of Thrones!”

At press time, you got fat too. Don’t pretend like your good church pants from high school still fit you. Enjoy the honey baked ham.