Drone “Pilot” Swears She Hit Same Wedding Venue Last Week

A woman who sits in a faux leather recliner all day in Nevada and remotely operates a Predator Drone swears she hit the same wedding venue last week.

“You know, after a few years, all the wedding venues start looking the same through thermal imaging.” 1st Lieutenant Sarah Geneva said. “But I swear this wedding venue looked the same as last week’s target [after battle dame assessment].”

The legal legitimacy of knowingly killing civilians abroad is still up for debate, but there’s one thing we know for sure: drone pilots aren’t real pilots.

At press time, 1st Lieutenant Geneva, who hasn’t been laid since her Air Force Academy Ring Dance, was heard muttering to herself something about how terrorists could find love and she can’t.