LTJG Gets First Hinge Match After Removing “Naval Officer” From Profile

It was a huge day for LTJG Fuckface, who got his first hinge match Friday afternoon after removing “Naval Officer” from his profile. This came as a revelation to ugly male junior officers everywhere, who have naively believed a uniform could hide their physical and intellectual shortcomings.

“I would like to thank my one female friend for telling me that we live in the post-Vietnam era and women aren’t attracted to men in the military anymore.” Fuckface said in an interview.

At press time, she unmatched him, but at least it was a good start.

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