Top Gun: Maverick Wins Oscar for Recruiting SWOs

Out there, somewhere, is a 7-year-old in butt-fuck North Texas who just saw Top Gun: Maverick and now wants to be a fighter pilot. Little does he know that he’ll find out his legs are long his senior year of the Academy, a medical assessment that in no way could have been done prior to signing the four best years of his life away to the federal government, and he’s going to be a SWO one day.

“Hahahaha, HAHAHAHA,” Said CNSP’s PAO, LCDR Yur Goinswo. “I can’t believe we have another generation that thinks they’ll be pilots when they grow up!”

At press time, your XO’s 9th lateral transfer package to FAO just got rejected. Now you have EMI because she’s mad. Get fucked.