“Till Death Do Us Part” Did NOT Include Your Deployment

"I take you for my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” 

SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER! “Till death do us part” did NOT include your deployment. Remember those daily calls you were promised? Well, those calls are going to become less frequent. Then, those calls are going to turn into emails. Then, the emails are going to become less frequent. Then the emails are going to become about a new friend your spouse has that he met through the ombudsman, then you’re not going to get any emails at all. The next email your get concerning your husband is from a divorce lawyer. 

Your marriage didn’t even last a hockey season, and now some stripper that lives in Hillcrest is now living off your BAH. The hilarious part is that you knew that marriage in the military was hard, but you believed that your relationship was different. You dumb bitch. Better update your DEERS to reflect your new marriage status - it’s going to take a while for them to process the paperwork.

By the way, your dog also got ran over when your ex-husband’s boyfriend took her for a walk. RIP Sally.