Hoards of Unqualified JOs Found Hiding with Missing F-35

Navy investigators found something surprising among the wreckage of the crashed F-35 in South Carolina: scores of unqualified Junior Officers.

“It’s like fucking Lord of the Flies out here,” one NCIS agent noted. Feral 1160s, flight attrites, and nuke drop-outs were seen dancing around a campfire centered around the wreckage. There were empty bottles of Jack Daniels and unopened condoms strewn about the forest. One unqualified lieutenant, who appeared to be their leader, was sitting on a thrown made of cases of beer and wearing fake Pit Viper sunglasses.

At press time, all of them faced a POCR board and were immediately rewarded for their actions with a transfer to the IP Community.